Monthly Archives: November 2000

I've seen three good movies in a row, and was just thinking that I'm due for a bad one. Which got me pondering how deeply ingrained the concept of karma is in our society. We apply karmic reasoning to things to which it cannot possibly apply. If I become rich, then someone else will suffer for it. We had a mild winter last year, so this year should be a doozy. Okay, while there may be some application for karma in economics, it does not work with weather. Yet people assume it does on a regular basis. Weather just happens. Movies just happen. Some are good, some are bad. Seeing several good ones in a row does not build up some odd vaccuum of bad that must be filled at the first available opportunity.

Perhaps the conundrum is an internal one--a guilt-complex that requires punishment. We had a mild winter last year, so we deserve to get hammered this year. I've had too much fun at the theatre, it's time for some pain. I suppose another part of it is the odd assumption that there is an over-arching intelligence in the universe, watching out for the balance of our lives. I think it's hogwash, but still I'm influenced by the concept, having been raised in a culture where our deistic assumptions go unquestioned for the most part. Sure, we ask the big questions, like "is there a god?", but do we ask the little questions, like: "how has my life been affected by a cultural belief in a god?"

That said, I think I'll go see the latest Arnie movie, and resist all karmic expectations.

I just got back from Unbreakable. I gotta tell ya, because of some of the things I'd seen on other blogs, I wasn't sure I was going to like it. I loved it. I loved every freaking minute of that wonderful movie. It captured my imagination, made me smile, made my jaw hang open in disbelief. Yes, it's true that a certain type of person is more likely to enjoy this movie. No, I really can't tell you what kind without giving anything away. Just know that I am that kind.

Dear Diary:

Tired as hell today. Insomnia is my constant companion. Gone for a week or so when I moved to the new place, it is now back with a vengeance. I read somewhere that when you can't sleep, you should just get up and do something rather than tossing and turning. So I got a few things done. Plus a refreshing nap before coming to work.

I've been scared about some things lately. I think too much is changing, and I'm trying to get a grip on something, anything, that will remain steady. There really is nothing, so I may as well just let go and fly. Or fall. Who was it that said: "I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of falling." ?

I've been working on a portfolio, sort of. Okay, I've been working on one site that will be a part of my portfolio, but I'm placing way too much emphasis on it. You see, if I actually produce a portfolio, then I have to show it to someone. If I show it to someone, they can say: "Um, wow, you suck like a Hoover." See? The falling thing.

I remind myself to just take one step at a time. If it seems like too much, make it a smaller step. "Create a portfolio" is a big step. "Create the first page"; too big again. How about <HTML>. ALT-F, S.

I can do that.