Monthly Archives: November 2005

I don't usually go in for gross, but when I saw the Horror Ball at the Discovery Store, I had to have one. It's ingeniously designed for maximum grossout. When you squeeze the ball, the clear spots become something like a snot bubble, which then oozes with something horrible (I got the worms), plus a little blood for effect. It is seriously, seriously disgusting. I'm taking it to work and showing everybody.

UPDATE: The Horror Ball has been a huge hit at work today. Many delighted grossouts.

  1. Joey Comeau writes the text for A Softer World, as well as one of the very few personal blogs I read that is not written by a personal friend. I read it because his writing draws me in. Angular and magical, I find I cannot look away.

    Joey has a book coming out soon. I'm going to read it. And right here and now, I'm going to recommend it, even though I haven't seen it.

  2. This item has no links, as the proprietor of Romeo's Bakery has stepped away from having a web presense. Instead, he concentrates on making the most wonderful and unusual baked goods. You won't get a sandwich at Romeo's, but you might get a pastry stuffed with mashed potatoes and bacon, or mozzerella and sweet corn (perfect for dipping in tomato bisque). Many of his pastries, while unusual here, are common items in Japan, but you won't discover this without going in and reading the descriptive labels on the items. And boy-howdy, everything is good. Stupid me, I've been in many times and still don't know the baker's name. But I know his grandfather's name: Romeo. Visit Romeo's on SW Fourth, in that little strip of businesses between Alder and Washington.

*Standard disclaimer: no one asks me to write about things. I shill from the heart.

I am in Safeway because I need V8 juice. As I leave with my bottle, I see a teenager wearing creamsicle track pants. They shimmer with velour softness. I know that people of taste would recoil. I know that they would look preposterous on me. I covet them anyway.

I am walking down Southwest Fourth toward Washington. A thin, dark man with a craggy smile is telling his cell phone: "Evil is good! Say it! Evil is good! C'mon! Evil is good!" He continues his mantra until it is drowned by traffic.

I am waiting for the bus. Across the street, a bearded yellow rain suit detours briefly to rub himself lasciviously against Kvinneakt before he proceeds to the corner to wait for the light.

I see my bus. I think: "happiness!" And for the third time in as many days, I get this horrible earworm. I did not know it was by Donovan; I learned it at camp.

On the bus, I scribble a note in my tiny keychain book. It says:

A co-worker and I went up to the local office supply place today, and as I stopped by his office to get him, I asked: "Are you ready, Hezzie?" I picked up the phrase from my mom, but never knew where it came from. Google to the rescue. Apparently the phrase originated with The Hoosier Hotshots, a band that made exactly the kind of silly music my mother loved. "Hezzie" was the stage name of one of the members, Paul Trietsch. Before each song, his brother, Ken, would say the famous phrase. Picked up by cool kids everywhere, "Are you ready, Hezzie?" remained in the lexicon for three decades.

I think it's due for a comeback.

UPDATE: Mentioning this to said co-worker led to a brief discussion of lost music. While much is surely gone, I explained that there were entire projects dedicated to transferring endangered media to digital. He asked if I thought I could find an early 20th century group called The Peerless Quartet. Well, that was easy, and along the way, I found this treasure trove of WWI mp3s. Go listen to your elders.

2 Comments

  1. Mammograms! I was terrified of them. Clinicians and laywomen alike told me I could "ease the discomfort" by taking some aspirin, or putting a warm compress on my poor, smashed boobs after this grueling procedure. Only my most recent care provider, a wise and easy-going NP, told me not to worry. I did my best to believe her, and she was right. It was absolutely no big deal whatsoever. The only thing to remember is keep your shoulders down. You naturally lift them when someone is messing with your girls, so remember to drop them again so they don't pull you up when the machine is pressing down. Bottom line: don't listen to the horror stories--just go get it done.

  2. Holly from Culture Captioning likes to give free products to bloggers to review on their blogs! She wanted to give me free movie tickets! I gleefully responded with this link.
  3. Public Service Announcement: below are the 20 Sony CDs that will install a rootkit on your computer. A rootkit that has already been exploited.
    1. Trey Anastasio - Shine

    2. Celine Dion - On ne Change Pas
    3. Neil Diamond - 12 Songs
    4. Our Lady Peace - Healthy in Paranoid Times
    5. Chris Botti - To Love the music Again
    6. Van Zant - Get Right with the Man
    7. Switchfoot - Nothing is Sound
    8. The Coral - The Invisible Invasion
    9. Acceptance - Phantoms
    10. Susie Suh - Susie Suh
    11. Amerie - Touch
    12. Life of Agony - Broken Valley
    13. The Bad Plus - Suspicious Activity
    14. The Dead 60s - The Dead 60s
    15. Dion - The Essential Dion
    16. Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten
    17. Ricky Martin - Life
    18. Horace Silver Quintet - Silver's Blue
    19. Gerry Mulligan - Jeru
    20. Dexter Gordon - Manhattan Symphonie