D A little more than

D

A little more than ten days ago, I met someone online named D. She was

funny and bright, and I enjoyed talking to her very much. The only problem

was she lived alternately in reality and in a world she’d carefully

constructed. This other world involved a mystical meeting of souls, a Lady

from Alabama, a Starfucker, and of course, a Celebrity (whom she loved,

naturally). I knew it was fabrication, but I liked this person, and I

thought, hey, crazy people need friends too. I’d had some experience with

this from my “interesting” upbringing, and I thought I could handle it.

I think my cardinal mistake, though frankly I didn’t let anything get very

far, was cutting off her means of validation. She needed to talk about her

big dramatic story of the Starfucker going after the Celebrity and getting

so close…but I soon became a bit irritated with it and insisted on

real life. Silly kitty, what was I thinking?

It didn’t take long for the other characters to show up. The Celebrity

showed up in AIM a few days ago. Likeable and pragmatic, “he” (I’d talked

to D on the phone, so I’m pretty sure she’s a she) gave a different

perspective, but stayed close to the facts of the Great Drama as D had told

them. Small inconsistencies in how the Celebrity found me at all were

explained nicely–with vagaries and feelings. I’ll give points for

that–complicated “factual” explanations are much less believable than “oh,

I just figured it out.” All in all, I didn’t mind the Celebrity, and if he

shows up again, I might answer. Haven’t decided yet. He was a protagonist,

and therefore tolerable.

But then our antagonist showed. She may even have been an anti-hero, not

sure.

Backing up, I’ll admit to being under the spell of the story for a few

hours. During these hours, I wrote a short note to another character for

confirmation. My suspicions ran high, and D was willing to provide an

email, and even phone numbers, though I think she provided those knowing I

would never, ever just call someone out of the blue.

The Lady from Alabama sent a terse “lose my address” note. This is where I

dropped out. I didn’t want to deal with Alabama, especially since I knew

the real antagonist, the Starfucker, was coming in a few months.

Sorry, but I have to safeguard my own sanity.

Sent D a note saying goodbye. As I said, it’s only been a few days, so for

me it’s not a big deal at this point. Of course I checked my mail this

morning to find three notes from her. They will remain in a folder, unread,

until I’m motivated enough to either read them or delete them. Curiosity

will probably get the better of me. I still expect to hear from the other

two characters–maybe even the third–a couple more times before it all dies

down.

Might these other characters actually exist as people? It’s extremely

doubtful, but some part of me hopes they do. That would make it all so much

more entertaining. On the other hand, it would also make it much more

complicated, and in the end I can hardly take that risk. That would be

worse than the delusion.

That’s what I get for trying. I should have known–I am not the type

to be tolerant of mental illness. It just isn’t a strength of mine. But

for a few days, I knew a nice person.

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