Ghosts of Mars

I swear I only heckled once. When Natasha Henstridge says: “It’s time we put a stop to this.” I couldn’t help but reply: “Yes, that would be a very good idea.” I said it quietly.

Ever since They Live, I’ve had a soft spot for John Carpenter. I liked that movie, and it created a positive association where maybe there shouldn’t be one. But I’m not going to rake excessively on Ghosts. Here’s the thing: it’s camp. It had me chuckling all the way through. Okay, I was the only one, but that’s beside the point. The silly dialogue, the ludicrous plot devices–Carpenter was obviously provoking the heckler in us all. This movie was custom-made for MST3K. The openings were just too obvious.

If you go, expect a movie that should have gone straight to video. Terrible effects, icky script, ghastly music, and of course people “possessed” by Martians–which is just a cover for JC’s zombie fetish. Also expect a couple of characters that you’ll actually like, which is more than I can say for some of this year’s Summer movies.

And do me a favor–when Ice Cube says the thing about the tide being high and “staying alive”, please sing the Bee Gees chorus for me. Quietly.

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