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Ten Things To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don’t Like

  1. Hey! Now there’s a gift!
  2. Well, well, well…
  3. Boy, if I had not recently shrunk 2″ that would’ve fit.
  4. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.
  5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.
  6. If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!
  7. I love it – but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
  8. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program and must leave all my beloved belongings behind.
  9. To think – I got this the very year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

    and the number one thing to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like…

  10. I really don’t deserve this.

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