Simon and Starbunkle

Whenever I have a weird dream, I find myself putting it to the tune of “Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream.” Doesn’t everyone?

Last night I had the strangest dream
I’ve ever dreamed before
I dreamed Ev Williams owned a Starbucks
And worked down on the first floor

Each day I bought a latte there
Each day I threw it out
I hate coffee but went to bask
In the heat of Ev’s flirty pout

He looked quite hot in his full beard
He always wore a tie
He was Barista Maximus
With a sparkle in his eye

Ev knew I hated java beans
My love for coffee was fake
One day he pleased me mightily
With a tall raspberry shake

Last night I had the strangest dream
I’ve ever dreamed before
I dreamed Ev Williams owned a Starbucks
And worked down on the first floor

DISCLAIMER: I do not now, nor have I ever had, a crush on Ev Williams. I’m sure he’s a nice person, don’t get me wrong. But no crush. Also, I don’t like full beards, though I don’t think he has one in real life. Who knows–I have weird premonitory powers about facial hair. It’s a curse.

1 Responses to Simon and Starbunkle

  1. Cat says:

    I have the sense that I’ve frightened everyone into a stunned silence.