Deresolutions

New Year’s resolutions are made to be broken. With that in mind, here are mine:

1. No more fuzzy snuggles.

I believe the cats have become too dependent upon me. Every time I sit down, one of those furry little bastards gets up on my lap, expecting me to give it a thorough massage, a scritch behind the ears, and maybe some smoked oysters. Screw that. I’ve had it with catering to those little projectile barfing fur factories. It’s tough love from now on.

2. I quit the bodily waste gig.

Why do people continue to evacuate horrifying substances day after day, year after year? The squatting and grunting must stop. Baths and showers are kinda nice, so I don’t mind sweating so much. But the rest? It’s smelly, messy, and quite frankly, it grosses me the fuck out. Also, I could use the toilet space for a tubside bookshelf.

3. Done blogging.

I’ve been tapping away at this “blog” thing for 3

3 Responses to Deresolutions

  1. bluedog says:

    you’re pretty famous to me! thanks to you i discovered blogging…and of course m’curio’s site…

    but i’ve also read all of your postings..my favorite, the roller skating…got a lump in my throat…so please just stay pissed off tonight and reconsider your resolution to make this your last post…

  2. Cat says:

    I’m not pissed off, I swear! Re-read the first sentence of the post very carefully.

    Like I would ever stop snuggling my kitties.

  3. bluedog says:

    er, ah, the second margarita may have contributed to my inability to read AND comprehend…

    anyway cat, here’s wishing you and yours the best for the new year..