I’m always looking for ways to explain this. So let me try again.

Every adult I know has had their heart broken. Maybe someone died, maybe someone left, but there you are, left in little pieces. Can you remember the last time your heart was broken? You recovered over long days, maybe sometimes being able to smile, mostly looking for distractions or solitude or both. Maybe you wanted to die, because it hurt so bad.

Okay, now imagine feeling that way say, eight days out of ten for your entire life. Got that? Heart broken. No end. The only thing that helps the balance is drugs, and those aren’t perfect. Your heart is still broken for a little under half the time. Say, three or four out of ten days. Each time, you know you’ll feel better later. You know you’ll be happy again. But you also know the happiness will go away. In fact, your happiness is tainted at every moment, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I’m just. so. fucking. tired.

1 Responses to Analogy

  1. Tracy says:


    I hear the pain in your voice and I am concerned for you. I do not know what I can do to help, but I am here for you. The pain does not get easier but I hope that your good days can be better and longer than the bad.