The Last Journal: Feathers and all

I don’t remember Mom being particularly religious. She didn’t attend church, and she thought the Bible was okay for historical purposes. Apparently, she got a bit more devout. She glued a cross to the inside cover of this journal, and mentions God several times.

Feb 9 83

Mar got off 3:30. Feb 8 83 – was sick we went out to dinner night before & food was bad – She’s also been complaining about a pain in her left side by stomach. I think it’s probably nerves & flu left over. S – Home her 3rd day now – ingrown toe nail – bad1. I better – still have sweats, but found that a Dristan before bed helps.

Fri good, Sat & Sun low. Got a lot of cleaning done. House very dirty. Will start cleaning this week. New drapes up a little blah, but OK. Paided rent 1 day late. Puts me behind for next Feb too. Will be one day late unless income tax comes back. Miss Mar, but hope she finds a good life. She’s always felt she’d find it in the South, and she’ll be there soon. Bug cleaned room, feels good. Been drinking too much beer again, but God has things in hand – thank you God!

Got permanent, or 7 – not bad. Gave Mar one too. Must get to work now. Lots to do besides get ready for work. Laundry, vac, dishes, clean fireplace, all I can before four. Now 12:45.  To bed at 3:00 up at 12:00 – damn dog keeps waking me up. Chinese Village food bad. I put Marlene’s black hat in the fire Sunday night, feathers and all. I was just drunk enough – I hated it. Fresh start — does not work.

Feb. 10, 1983

Mar’s been gone 2 days now, no word. Probably sick. New manager seems good. Up at 10 – too early. Getting some work done. Rug and matress scrubbed. Room should be ready in 3 or 4 days. Much to do yet. Getting tired, must slow down. To bed at 2:15 last night. Still burned out but should have more time alone soon2, and start coming out of it. Time will tell.

Have room no time, organize. Thursday supply day – change deep fry. Vacced – when all is clean, start books – baby – finances – rep – weather bad and rainy Mon, Tue, Wed, Thur.


1:   Horrifying ingrown nails run in our family. We get nasty infections, and can be unable to walk. Luckily, we usually grow out of them in our 20s. This problem left me afraid to remove my shoes–even if my feet were healthy–for many years.

2:   The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Mom craved alone time more than I realized. I always felt bad for not coming to see her more. As we’ll see later, she was kind of annoyed I kept interrupting her weekends.

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