The ultimate headache: I grabbed an orange highlighter to mark something, realized it was too bright, and just used a pencil to circle instead.

This is my last bloggy day until Sunday night. Going to Seattle for my birthday. Yay! I get to see Wayne Thibaud paintings! I get to eat seafood! I get to play Scrabble!

I missed Andre's birthday. Ah well, I suck at remembering these things. Happy birthday, man. Hope you had a great time, and you're still in jail waiting for your lawyer to bail you out.

I've learned something in Perl! I've learned that ternary operators SUCK. What's the matter with a nice, simple If-Then-Else statement?



I hope I look back on that in a few months and chuckle at myself.



BTW, I am not a goat mutilator.

I am not your father's Oldsmobile.

Good morning everyone! I've decided today is Not Day, though you may certainly feel free to call it I Snot Day. Today, you will discover many of the things that fry is not. For example: I am not a mutant from the planet Exoid.

Okay, what's the deal? My birthday is Sunday, and I'm not depressed yet. Probably because I've got so much great stuff going on right now. Maybe I should move every year around this time. Or something.

Things to Do to Avoid the B-Day Depresssion:

1. Throw yourself into a doomed affair.
   
2. Get a new pet.
   
3. Move (got that one!)
   
4. Go on a trip with friends.
   
5. Kill someone who really annoys you.
   
6. Get a boob job.
   
7. Actually, any plastic surgery is good.
   
8. Get a new tattoo.
   
9. Change careers.
   
10. Stalk someone interesting.
    
11. Re-design your blog.
    

Because I suck at it, every few months I do some sort of refresher in time management. Each time, I absorb a little more. For this round, I chose the book Time Management from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern. Once you get past the simplistic writing style, she's got some great ideas. Over the last year (much thanks to my boss, who makes time management a priority), my workday has become more efficient and more satisfying. I love getting a lot done. I know what my over-arching goals are and I work toward them gleefully. But that's work. And thus is my quandary.



If you want to get anything done, you have to know why you're doing it. It's important to be working toward something you want. At work, no problem. At home...I have no goals. Well, I have goals regarding specific things, but I don't have a big, epic dream.



No, no, don't feel sorry for me. I don't have a big far-reaching ring to reach for because I'm really, really content. I went through most of my life thinking someday, I'll work for myself. I've started any number of businesses only to discover that they weren't really what I wanted. What I want is the job I have. I love it. It challenges me creatively, it keeps me learning, it allows me to make a big impact to about 70 wonderful people. So...that means I don't have any career-oriented goals spilling over into my personal time, because that's all taken care of.



So what else is there? Is my life goal to see a lot of movies, listen to a lot of music, read a lot of comics, and find the best Chinese restaurant in Portland? Wow, that is so lame. Shouldn't I be reaching for the stars? I used to want to be a rockstar. Boy, am I ever glad I grew out of that crap. I don't like kids (well, maybe with teriyaki sauce), so that's out. The idea of marriage gives me hives. I'm satisfied creatively, so I don't want to paint or draw or sculpt or write.



The truth is, I'm not driven in my personal life. I just want a cool apartment, good friends to entertain in it, and happy cats to lounge in it. I want to have fun, go white-water rafting, hiking, biking, etc. My goal used to be happiness, but I got that.



Guess I'll just be a happy person that has fun. I better grab my calendar; I have my work cut out for me.

Picked up a cool mag today: createonline. Lots of fun stuff (ooh! An interview with Jakob Nielsen! Hee.), demos on the CD, and plenty of links to inspirational sites. I'll be going through them and blog anything yummie.

Fry on packing

Back in the days of my impetuous youth (which would be the last time I moved), I had some odd ideas about packing. The bigger the box, the better. Put like things in the same box. Labels? We don't need no steenkin' labels!

Things have changed, and I hope for my friends sake (and my own) that my logic is a little better now. This is how I'm doing it this time:

• Reasonably-sized boxes. I unpacked some computers at work recently, and a co-worker wanted those huge, strong boxes for moving. I gave them up gladly, and I think she's crazy. Those are too damned big. The boxes I'm using are the size of paper boxes.
• Category does not matter. Weight matters. I don't want a box that I, personally, cannot move comfortably. So the contents go like this: something heavy on the bottom--a layer of books, vids, CDs, etc. Mid-weight to light stuff fills in--kitchen and bathroom stuff, knick-knacks. On the top goes a layer of something fabric to fill in the gaps--I'm starting with clothes I'm not using. The end result is that every box weighs about the same, and is perfectly liftable.
• I'm labeling everything, but not getting uptight about it (I may regret the "not uptight" part later). If it's stuff I need right away, the label says so.
• I'm leaving all my blankets out to pad furniture in the truck.
• I'm leaving the cleaning stuff out so I can clean up after the apt is empty. Yes, I've been sthoopid enough to pack it in the past.

The only other thing I can think of is something I do on a regular basis--purge. I'm not moving anything I don't use or don't love. I'm also jettisoning a lot of furniture. Crappy stuff goes to charity because I deserve a fresh start without crappy stuff. A lot of other things I don't have room for and don't need are going to friends. Your friends love it when you move, you know. I've scored big-time when my friends have moved, so it's only fair I move once in a while to pass it along.

The apartment I love is officially mine. I just need to go in to sign things and give them tons of money, but that can wait a little while. I get to move in about two weeks before 'zilla (btw, Paul, close the tag on your permalink code). Heh, guess he gets to learn from my mistakes.



Until then, big plans! And here they are:

Livingroom

Theme: WILD!



Paint scheme:




This red ragged wall will blend to an orange ceiling. There is a small, square window placed high up on one wall--it will get a sunburst that matches the ceiling. Orange highlighting will go around art.



I already have most of the elements for this room. Deep burnt-orange vintage chairs, a sturdy old couch covered with multicolored throws, and tons of shelves, which will be painted in contrasting colors. I even have striking orange and yellow vases, believe it or not. The art centerpiece will be Air Piano by Scott W. Raymond. I will need to build an appropriate frame for it.

Kitchen

Theme: Whimsical



Paint scheme:





The color is right, but I'll be decoupaging kitties rather than fruit. I want new dishes--some clear glass in bright colors. But that can wait.

Bath

Theme: Bold and Elegant



Paint scheme:





I'm not sure about the colors, but there will be gold accents. Gold shower curtain. Gold fixtures. I already have a nice mirror and some small pictures that will fit in nicely. I really hope this stenciled paint effect is easier than it looks, because I'm a painting goob.

Bedroom

Theme: Asian/primitive



Paint scheme:





The color will actually be medium-brown. On each side of the bed will be one large Chinese character done in beige, with the same paint technique (frottage). Though I have many elements for this room, there are a couple of loose ends that are going to cost me some $$$. My dresser is a piece of crap that I barely use. It will be replaced with something smaller and cooler. I saw some small pyramid-shaped dressers done in rough, dark wood at a shop in Northwest. They were cheap. Mine. I also need a headboard, or just something interesting that I can use as one. I also need a shiny comforter in a solid color.

Leftover pizza: how long is too long? Yeah, sure, the edges of the pepperoni slices have curled up, and it looks a bit dry, but a minute in the micro and it's delicious and chewy again! This guy has braved pizza as old as nine days, and he's still around to compulsively log his dinners. I say eat up.

My friend Kelly had a fun idea. He sees a lot of movies every year. Heck, we see a mess of them together. He decided to make a chronical in his cubical (a cubical chronical! Ha!) of the movies he's seen by going to IMDB and printing out a little mini-poster of the artwork, which he then tacks up. I understand he has quite a collection, but he's missing one. Well Kel, here it is. It is by no means perfect, but it's better than nothing. And we couldn't leave your collection incomplete, now could we? Even cooler, it's the Spanish version. BTW, for any Greenaway fans--find a way to get this film. It's disturbing and remarkable; one of his best.

One of my favorite scary books will be a movie. And it looks to be no slouch of a flick. If you've never read The Mothman Prophecies, I highly recommend this true story of John A. Keel's "close encounters" in West Virginia. Just don't expect to sleep for a week afterwards.

Dress up Jesus! I snorted milk out of my nose when I saw this. Thanks mefi for the link.

Okay, I've been at this blog thing for a while now. At first I had this popup with a tremendous list of other blogs. They were there because I liked them, they liked me, or they mentioned kittens favorably. Then I took it all down and went with just one blog a week, under bloglove (above). I still think that's a great way to point out new finds, or things I think my readers would enjoy. But at this point, I've developed habits that have stuck, and though I read a lot of blogs on a regular basis, the ones that I am compelled to read form a short list. That's it over on the right. If I miss an update from these folks, I feel all yucky. They are my loves, my addictions, and some of them have become my friends. Some of them have even become my friends' friends.

It's true, all true. In fact, I'm trying to get him and Jeffrey to come to Disneyland with me and the gang next January. There we will dish as none have dished before. Thanks, sweetie.



P.S.: For anyone looking up my list of blog rules, yes, they were a joke.

Batman Reborn in "Year One". Oh please, please, please, let this happen. Batman from the director of Pi is just too perfect. Add Frank Miller, and it's a moviegasm.

My friend Dave suggested I look at the book Pad for ideas at the new place. Neither of the two bookstores within walking distance had it, so I decided to just browse through the Interior Design section at Borders. Oh, what I have found. The first book, House of Belief: Creating Your Personal Style, is full of funky rooms and unusual ideas. It covers a wide range of wild styles, all distinctly different. No country kitsch here. The second book I bought because I'm allowed to paint any darned thing I want to on my new walls. It's The Ultimate Wall Book, and there are NO fake pine effects here. There is one marbling technique, but it's very left-of-center, so I forgive them. We're talking plaid, stripes, distressed, decoupage, 3-D effects--this book is bloody amazing. I wish I had more rooms.

I have done a very frivolous thing. I have purchased the Martha Stewart Halloween Special Issue. I'm drooling.



Halloween is the only holiday I bother with. About every other year I'll have some sort of party (this year it's a must, since I'll have a new place). Last time I had a scavenger hunt. This year I think funky pumpkins are in order. Oooh...the ideas...bursting from my head...



Wanna come?

I'm having a really good day. Mostly, it was because of work. It's so satisfying to create something for work that you are excited about, and find that lots of people are as excited as you are. The intranet page was introduced at training, and three different people came to me in the last two days with major chunks to add. Big, useful, important chunks. Plus, it's easy stuff to add. There's no resistance--the office sees it as a Good Thing and they're as anxious to make it our one-stop shopping site as I am. This is a rare and wonderful thing. So I'm grinning.

I made the hard call. The call to my grandma-like landlady who has been very special to me for these last nine years. It figures--she's having cataract surgery right when I'm moving. Ah well, if I backed out, there would be something else down the road. If you're a Portlander, and looking for a spacious two-bedroom apt with a big yard, lemme know.

I have an apartment!



For Portlanders, it's a The Yards, which is right by Union Station, just behind the apts that are on the river. They are brand new.



On the minus side:

• They're more expensive than I'd like
  
• My apt is a little dark
  

On the plus side:

• I can either ride a free bus or walk to work--no more bus pass
  
• Nice little fitness facility
  
• Beautiful grounds, nice location
  
• Rooftop terraces on every building
  
• Stacked washer/dryer in the apt (this is a BIG plus!)
  
• The place is "nookish", it has cool angles I can use to create my office space
  
• It has these great low windowsills that the cats will love
  
• I can paint it any color I like
  

Now I have to call my current landlady and tell her. Ouch.

I get really tired of the "you're fat so you're going to die young" articles. Yes, I do believe there are health risks, but they are overstated to an extreme degree in our society. After so many articles, it becomes propaganda. Even a self-fulfulling prophecy. Here are 24 days of articles. Nearly an article a day--and that's just one source. If you doubt fat people get hammered, next time your in the check-out line I have a challenge for you: find more than one women's magazine without a weight-loss article. Even one is rare. It isn't about health. It never was about health. It's about phobia. Hatred.



Roseanne did us a favor. By saying we should be gassed, she puts fatism in the context of extreme bigotry. That's exactly where it belongs.

Attention Jerwin fans! The man with sass finally gives us an update on what life has been like since the picnic. Sounds like life is good.

Reengineering Nancy. Nancy Gold's story of double transformation--from male to female and from fat to thin--is insightful, fascinating, and compassionately told.

The apartment yesterday was skanky, tiny, and had NO TUB. That's just not right. I'm calling on someplace much more promising today.

I found this random text file on my computer named "einsteincat.txt". I had no idea what it was. Turns out it was this:



Albert Einsein, when asked to describe radio, replied: "You see, Wire telegraph is a kind of a vary, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York, and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send the signals here, and you receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."



Heh. Bet I forget about it and find it again in another year.

Oooh. I'm looking at an apartment tonight. I didn't like the tone of the woman. We'll see. Also, it's up by Civic Stadium. I'm not sure I'm interested in listening to sporting events in the evening. But hey...at least I'm looking at something.

You'll never be uncool. One of my favorite bloggers ruminates on the future of personal sites. Here's my spin: yes, it will become unpopular, but there will remain an underground of die-hards that refuse to give up their sites. Then, in a few years, the cool will return to the activity. Think Star Trek. It goes through regular cool/uncool cycles. Those of us that really love it don't give a damn how cool it is. We just keep on keepin' on.

Fresh flowers. I was just thinking today that after I move, I'll be able to have fresh flowers in the house again. It's a pain in the arse to carry them for an hour on public trans, and by the time I get home they're mostly dead. Not so for a ten-minute walk. Flowers make such a huge difference in the mood of a home.



I have my moving money in hand. I have a newspaper. I'm getting mighty excited.

I will not say the "w" word. Everyone says the "w" word when they talk about Keanu. You know which word I mean. It's a word that doesn't show up here either. I was at Blogger and clicked out of curiosity, and got sucked in. Nice job.

I'm feeling ever so much better. Went for dinner with Kelly and went SHOPPING. I love used video & music stores. Yeah.


Movies:

• Outland
  
• The Amityville Horror
  
• Excalibur
  
• Plus 12 more episodes of Babylon 5, new. Now I have through the middle of Season 2, plus the last of Season 5.
  

Music:

• Midnight Oil: Red Sails in the Sunset
  
• Duncan Sheik (I've liked him for a while, but wouldn't buy the CD because he's too cute and has a stupid name.)
  
• Indigo Girls: Rites of Passage (I love Galileo)
  
• Bjork: Post
  
• Toni Childs: House of Hope
  
• Andrea Parker: DJ-Kicks
  
• Zoo Rave 1
  

I'll be off on training for a couple of days, so my dear blog shall lie fallow. I know you'll all survive. See you on Friday with a full report.

"No, my intention is simply to advise those who....seem to believe that they can say whatever they like to someone pudgier than them, and have their little jibes and taunts taken in good spirit. And this is what I want to tell them. We hate you for it. I mean, we really, really hate you, and will not forgive you."



Thanks phattitude for the link!

The following is a VB, or Vapid Blog. I enter it for two reasons: 1. I want to remember this; 2. My friends should probably know, so they can plan social occasions appropriately.



I've switched from Mountain Dew to Diet Coke.



No, this isn't another "dammit I'm quitting", I haven't had any Dew for more than a week, and I don't miss it. Tami introduced me to Diet Coke (that's right, I'd never tried it), and I like the stuff. Caffeine fix without the sugar. Works for me.

I was looking for a general design reference, as I've never really been happy with Project Cool, but hadn't found anything I liked better. I should have put more elbow-grease into it. After only a little looking, I found the Web Developer's Virtual Library. This place is gorgeous. I believe I'll be spending a lot of time here.

I'm packing.



I haven't even chosen an apartment yet. Don't even have my moving money in hand (it will be here in a few days). It could be a month or more before I move. Am I crazy?



I thought it would be an interesting experiment to see how much I can live without for a little while. How far can I strip this house before it becomes unbearable? Movies, music, and basic stuff I use every day stays out. Everything else will be neatly packed into boxes long before I'm ready to go. I think it will give me new perspective on what I really need.



In the movie Erendira (which I don't recommend, BTW), the grandmother is falling asleep, yet still giving instructions to her slave/grandaughter. She says: "Make sure everything is in its place. Things suffer when they are out of place." Though I didn't like the movie, I loved that line. I would like to have so few things that keeping each thing in its place is effortless. We'll see how close I get.

The Watcher wasn't brilliant or world-changing, but it wasn't bad. What surprised me the most was that the damned thing got to me. As I went to sleep in the apartment where I live alone, I decided the darkness was a little too deep, and turned my bedside lamp on low. I then proceeded to fall asleep and have nightmares involving maniacs, sharp items, and body parts. When I finally awoke, sweating, my light was off.



I think I'll just sit up for a while.

Yay! I'm going to see The Watcher with Kelly. I'm so damned stir-crazy. And before you dis my taste in movies, who cares if it sucks?? It has Keanu and James in it. I could watch it on mute.

David Gentle is desperate for attention. I'm not sure why I'm giving it to him, except maybe that I like his odd graphics. He's made not one, not two, but five blogs of different flavors. If you're looking for new blogs to peruse, he cruises them and does a lot of linking in Complete Toss. 8 Facts is a hoot--just lists of things. Great sense of humor. You'll have to comment on his other blogs yourself. I'm busy reading his Jargon Watch candidates.

The sources I've found say that the "Hello World!" program is the first example in this book. I could swear I remember seeing it earlier, but I could be wrong. Anybody know any differently?

I'm beginning (finally!) to learn Perl, and when I cracked the book, there it was. The "Hello World!" program. It seems like every time you learn a language, one of the first things you get to do is make a program that displays "Hello World!" This got me thinking about the origins of this peculiar tradition. I haven't found it yet, but I did find a page collecting over 200 examples of the "Hello World!" script. Yes, you too can display "Hello World!" in Commodore 64 Assembly language.

Okay, it's hateful and juvenile. It's also fun. Thanks JoePark at The Portland Oregon Club for the link.

As most of you know, I'm not buying RIAA CDs. Monkeyfist has an even better idea. I don't have the bandwidth for it, but for those of you who download songs by the artists you love, I highly recommend this approach.

Okay okay, I broke down and took the personality test. I'm weak that way. Here's what it said:

EXPERIMENTER

( Dominant Introverted Abstract Thinker )



You are an EXPERIMENTER (DIAT). Although you're slightly shy (admit it!), you love control. When a problem comes in your way, you stomp on it swiftly and decisively. You are bothered easily by failure in others and failure in yourself. You don't like people that you don't think are intelligent. Rather than arguing with them, however, you would just as soon ignore them altogether.



In relationships, you have a strong heart. And because you're introverted, people take you as someone they can trust. But the fact is that in addition to solving problems, you like to create them. So there's a decent chance that you'll cheat on a loved one. If you do, you'll likely get away with it.



You're a good person at heart, but then again, who isn't?

It's right on except the cheating on friends part. I'm actually extremely loyal, and my panties get in a wad about people that cheat their friends.



I'm not all that compatible with my friends, so I won't mention that. Not a fellow experimenter in the bunch. I'm alone. All alone.

Believe it or not, I saw Taxi Driver for the first time last night. What a completely mesmerizing film. I want a mohawk.

Readerboard at Woodland Park Baptist Church:

"Free trip to Heaven.

Details inside."

Blog of the week (or however long I leave it up) is phonezilla. I'm completely in love with this design--simple yet flashy. Great attention-getter. Also, Paul is a good read. Explore the rest of the site and enjoy the talents of this killer designer.

Okay, okay, I admit I've been looking at Yahoo's picks of the week...but this one is really good! Computers in film. Don't miss the bomb dialog from Darkstar. I'd forgotten how funny that was. I could spend hours at this place.

Several years ago I found an old book in the bargain bin--it turned out to be a turn-of-the-century autobiography (signed!) of a woman who travelled with a medicine show; a huckster selling fake cures. It was a fascinating read (wish I could remember the title right now), and it left me with an interest in the whole field. Which brings us to the Quackatorium, a nicely done account of snake-oils past, concentrating mostly on amazing medical contraptions. Magnetic bracelets, anyone?

Wildfires. Mmmhmm. Sorry, any time Devils Tower closes, I get suspicious.

I was sick of getting fleeced by AT&T, so I decided to find a site that would help me compare long distance plans. I found Decide.com, and they made it easy to compare plans that fit my usage, and I was able to sign up right there. Instant gratification. Good job.

HOT BABE ALERT!



My friend Tami is, shall we say, a little body conscious. I mean that in a nice way. She gave me this picture to scan in, so naturally I had to put it up for everyone. She won 2nd place! Hey Tami--if you want to print this, here's a higher resolution for you (be patient, it's a big file). You won't notice the difference on the screen, but it will look better off the printer. I got as much of the orange out as I could, though it's still a bit tinted. After all, the floor probably was orange.



You know, having a person this into fitness as a friend could only be a good thing at this point in my life. Heh. Wheeze.

What a great day!


Met up with Tami at a little after noon for brunch, and then we proceeded to go thrift-store hopping. I found some great china-red curtains. Ooh yah. We also stopped by Suncoast and picked up the first boxed set of Babylon 5 tapes. We then proceeded to watch all five hours worth. I've done my duty. She's hooked. I'd forgotten how good that show was right from the beginning. Far and away the best sci-fi ever televised. Now I'm anxious to get the rest of the set. I just have to sell a kidney.

Happy Woman Magazine. Finally, a women's magazine that appeals to me. Thanks Caralee for the link!

The sites I visit are like a snapshot of my daily life. They've changed a lot over the years, and reflect my concerns of the time. Quick list of the non-blog places I go every day. Prepare yourself, this is really boring and mainstream:

• Humor
  
• Dilbert
  
• Brunching Shuttlecocks
  
• Napkin.org
  
• The Satyr
  
• The Onion
  
• News
  
• Ironminds
  
• KOIN
  
• NewCity
  
• Salon
  
• Wired
  
• Conversation
  
• Table Talk
  
• MetaFilter
  
• Tools
  
• Blogger
  
• Backflip
  
• Echo
  
• FilePile
  
• Hotmail
  
• IMDB
  
• e-Bay
  
• uReach
  

Sometimes I'm overcome. Sitting, looking around my home, thinking about my life, my job, my friends, I find myself smiling at how perfect everything is at that moment. A wave of sheer contentment comes over me, and I have to whisper: "Ah, thank you." Who is this atheist thanking? I guess I'll just spread the gratitude among the people that have made my life so wonderful. Hey everyone: Thank you.

Well doggonit. I told one of my co-workers (Hi Robert!) about this place, and I was sure I wrote something about him when he first came on board. Something embarrassing about him being cute and liking sci-fi. So I go in to delete it before he finds it, and I discover that I didn't even post it. I hate when I do that. Okay, so he's cute and he likes sci-fi. There. Maybe I'll come back and delete this later.