The only way I ever got them was to use a technique that can only be tried privately.

First, take off all your clothes.
Next, put your nose right on picture.
Do the eye-relaxing thing.
Move your head away from the picture slowly.

It's possible I'm lying about part of the instructions.

In 1998, there were about 30 anthrax hoaxes nationwide.
In 1999, there were about 5 per week.
In the last two weeks, there have been 3300 hoaxes.

He said he saw Tom Brokaw on the news asking: "Have we over-reported this?" Duh.

He (by the way, I don't remember the speaker's name. Sue me.) talked about the list you go over when you receive a threatening phonecall. It contains tons and tons of questions, because often the caller wants to talk about the whys and wherefores, so you get a lot of information. At the end of the form you ask (seriously) for the caller's address. He said: "Maybe by the time you've gone through this whole thing you've built such a wonderful rapport that he'll give you his email address and meet you for coffee at Starbuck's."

Anthrax is heavy and dark (though cutting agents can be anything). You have to do something stupid like slam a door or shake the envelope to get it in the air real good-like.

If we must be decontaminated, it will not be like Indiana where they sent everyone out on the sidewalk, stripped them, and hosed them down. To this, my boss shouted: "Are there any pictures?" I then struck my boss with an empty water bottle.

1. I feel fantastic today.
2. Good dog but I get hungry.

This is the cat that never ends
She just goes on and on my friend
Some people started petting her, not knowing what she was
And they'll continue petting her forever just because

This is the cat that never ends...

I'm torn on the concept of national ID. I'm a federal employee, so on a personal level my privacy is gone. On the other hand, I come from a family that valued privacy so highly that I had to decide to get my own social security number when I came of working age. This was not done for me as a baby. I've long resented how the SSN, which was supposed to be used for only one thing, has become widely used by a number of institutions for identification purposes.

The bottom line: I cannot work out how a national ID will make us safer. More paranoid, sure. But those who wish to do us harm will not be prevented from doing so by an ID card.

The SCI FI Channel has teamed up with J. Michael Straczynski to create a new BABYLON 5 movie, THE LEGEND OF THE RANGERS. The movie will air on SCI FI in January 2002, and you can find more information about it on our newly relaunched RANGERS Web site at http://www.scifi.com/b5rangers

As most of you know, RANGERS is both a stand-alone movie and a pilot for a potential series. That means the better the movie does in the ratings, the better chance there will be for an ongoing RANGERS show. SCI FI will be launching a traditional marketing campaign in the coming months to support the movie, but we’d also like to try something that’s never been done before: we’d like to add you to the RANGERS support team.

We know BABYLON 5 fans are among the most passionate fans on the planet, and we also know that you want what we want: to see more BABYLON 5 on the air. So we’d like to enlist BABYLON 5 fans who want to help us with a grassroots effort aimed at attracting new viewers to Rangers. Here is how you can help:

YOUR IDEAS
->Send us your ideas about how fans could best help promote/support the movie, keeping in mind that the goal is to reach sci-fi fans who would not ordinarily tune into a BABYLON 5 movie.

OUR IDEAS
->Let us now if you think invitations, T-shirts and downloadable flyers (that can be printed and handed out and/or posted) with tune-in information would be useful for B5 fans to give out and/or wear in order to get other people to watch the movie.

CAR WRAPS
->If you are a fan who owns a car and frequently drives in the New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Boston, Dallas, Washington, Detroit or Atlanta metropolitan areas, and you would be willing to have your car “wrapped” in advertising for RANGERS, please let us know. The types of cars most suited for wrapping are:

• Plymouth - P.T. Cruiser
• Volkswagen - Beetles, Jettas
• Lincoln – Navigator
• Ford - Explorer, Expeditions, Excursions, F-150, Dulies, All Vans
• GMC - Jimmy, All Vans
• Chevy - Astro Vans, Conversion Vans, All commercial Vans
• Dodge - Durango, Ram Trucks
• Nissan - Pathfinder, Extera, Maxima
• Honda - Civic
• BMW - M-3

And please visit http://www.scifi.com/b5rangers for the latest news and updates on the series.

Huge props today to TEDDY, Wyoming Qwest rep extraordinaire. Teddy sympathized effectively with my angry ranting over four months of fuckups, then she magically changed my bill from $122.65 to ($12.07). Yes boys and girls, that's a credit. They owed me muchly. Thanks, Teddy.

What's funny about the previous entry: I showed my stortrooper to some friends, who made note that I like Einstürzende Neubauten. I had no idea who they were talking about, so I went looking. Turns out I do like Einstürzende Neubauten. I'm keeping the shirt.

This is the meme that never ends

It just goes on and on my friend...

Comments are now working pretty darned good, thanks to a little help from a friend. Yes, I had to change the extension on the index file again. Hope that doesn't throw off too many people.

I will now proceed to rant incoherently. I'm on day two of no sugar (because sugar is evil and I was a bit too addicted) and my head is throbbing like a strobe light. I decided about an hour ago that I couldn't stand one more loud song, and discovered that all I'd brought were loud CDs. I turned everything off, only to find the loud songs stuck in my head. I will not chew my arms off, I will not chew my arms off...

You may hereinafter refer to me as Cat Connor, Funkmistress of Lollygaggers. It's oddly appropriate. Via Jerwie.

Comments are working, with an error. Just ignore it, I'll get it fixed later. If I can figure it out.

Nevermind. I know what it is. I have to wrangle with my host over directory permissions.

The comments do not actually work. If you are one of my geeky friends, please do give it a try and take a look at the error. I'm lost. I'm pissed. I'm tired. Goodnight.

I dreamed I was tapped in the course of my job for the CDC to inject some cows with anthrax. I was terrified, but I did my job. Three cows, three different injection points, each spot marked carefully with an iodine "X". I had to take the vaccine and spend a few days in an isolation ward afterwards. I returned home to find the river massively receded and everyone in the city facing north--watching the mushroom cloud over Seattle. (Portland isn't close enough to Seattle for this, but it made the dream more terrifying.) The whole city was gone. The skies over Portland turned unnaturally dark.

Can I please just never sleep again?

It's a common psychological foible to consider one's feelings unique. Since I learned this, I often err in the other direction.

Way back in the dark ages, when I was in counseling (ACK! TMI! Don't worry, I won't share much more), I shared something puzzling with my counselor. I was sure she would tell me that it happened to everyone, reassuring me that I was still a part of the human race. Instead, she said: "Wow, really? I've never heard of that, and I've been practicing a long time."

Suddenly, I felt weird.

Despite my contention that few feelings/stances/actions are unique, I've been in the weird spot a number of times.

Once upon a time when I got comfortable with a group of people, I would share a little of myself, should it be appropriate to the conversation. I don't do that much any more. I have "designated revelations" for different groups that are intimate enough to convince people I'm sharing, and even weird enough to put me in the spot again--but once I've shared them I don't have to share much more. "C'mon, I told you my mom was gay--what more do you want?"

What I do instead is let others talk. I'll listen to them share and encourage them, while revealing little of myself. It's a neat trick.

Someday I'm sure I'll meet someone who doesn't mind that I'm an atheist who hates coffee and doesn't watch television, though truly, I only expect to meet someone who thinks it's okay--not someone like me. That's a little sad.

Don't worry, I'm not sad today. Just ruminating.

The current sky over Portland. Eerie.

Greenshoes: File Under It's about fucking time!

Yes, I finally, finally did it. I updated the Greenshoes Catalog. You won't believe the stuff in there--I got a little flooded. Oh poor, poor me. Jerry, Paula, and JR, disks are on the way. If there's anyone else on the list who hasn't received a disk yet, let me know. I'm notorious for organizing projects after they get going, so I screw up at first. I've got it together now (remember the first part of the blogathon, before I got it together? It was like that. It's better now, really). Also, if you've sent a disk and it's not on the list, write me asap, because I don't have it. This is some great, great stuff. Enjoy. Oh, and Chip: yeah you can send more than one mix.

I have my fingers crossed in hopes I will get to meet a pixel pal today. Jen, if you can't dig my phone numbers out of your Yahoo mail, lemme know in the comments here and we'll figure something out.

Something I didn't know about Microsoft.

Uh oh. I've seen three scorching-hot guys in the last hour. I think it's me.

Yahoo is having issues. The mainstay of my existence, My Yahoo, is slow. Worse, the games servers are not connecting. Oh, the pain!

Kitty Bacchanal

I awoke to find cat toys in the tub, and in the bathroom sink. In the kitchen, one cat dish had been shoved to the middle of the floor, and cat food was strewn everywhere.

All this because I left the blinds down and blocked their favorite windowsill. Hell hath no fury like a kitty scorned.

Please don't hate me.

I just got AIM blarged. I signed on to talk to one person, and as soon as I responded to them, AIM logs me in so everyone can say hello! The sad thing is, I really do like all the people who IM me. I just hate IM. I'm that way on the phone too. No matter how much I love you, if you call me, I will be squirming to get off the phone in a matter of minutes. Email is my modus operandi, or however you say it. Email I like. I also like meeting in person. Additionally, I have a fondness for b-boards. In any of those venues, I will be a sweet conversationalist. On IM I'm a little rudie. Forgive.

Woot! I can post for a few minutes! That makes me wanna post and post and post. Pity I have nothing to say, and a lot of work to do. Piffle.

There is no klingerman virus. This has been your public service announcement for the day. Thank you for your attention.

Nature abhors a vacuum. As do my cats.

I know, I know, I haven't been saying much lately. I've been distracted my conversations of love, god, poetry, and good movies.

Many people have said what I want to say about the current troubles, and though I'd rather leave it to them, I realize that doesn't tell anyone how I feel. So here's how I feel:

The United States is the most powerful nation in the world. We have used that power to interfere in the affairs of other countries. We have used the riches of our nation to exercise control, rather than to bring others to a dignified standard of living.

Say a new neighbor moves in next door. How would you earn their friendship? Take them a cake, or tie up your Rottweiler in their yard?

On an individual level, few people grow past the "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" stage of maturity. We expect to be paid back for the good we do (this is why there is a heaven in religions), and we expect revenge for our wrongs. Of course this is reflected on a national level.

I understand what has happened, and it hurts me so much that I've been avoiding even thinking about it. I'm not sure we could take another course at this point. But for the future?

Despite everything, I have great faith in humanity. I continue to hope.

My favorite holiday is coming up. I've always had a fascination with all things spooky. As I've gotten older, other holidays have fallen off my list with a yawn, but not Hallowe'en! To make the most of boo-day, here's the ultimate guide to Hallowe'en, via MeFi Projects.

When sheepdogs get bored:

Via ceiriog

Josh! Your email is bouncing, dammit!

I'm marking this because I want to go through every CSS reference he lists. I'm a CSS lightweight, and I know I can do better.

My current wallpapers:

Home


Work

Savage Garden calls it quits. That's one off my list. My plan is working, WORKING! Next...Josh Joplin Group.

"You sir, are not fit, sir, to stand upon the pile of dung which it has been the purpose of your life to excrete!" My friend Jamie sent me this gem of an article on the history of British rudeness. In the morning, you'll still be ugly.

Kitty's To-Do List:

• Finish cleaning apt (it looks pretty good already)
  
• Burn and send a bunch of greenshoes
  
• Update the greenshoes catalog, which is sorely outdated, and people are probably mad at me because of it
  
• Finish 20-things type art project for friends
  
• Finish painting the kitchen so my friends at the party will ooh and ahh at my artistic prowess
  
• Relax, watch movies, and burn CDs with far more people than my livingroom can hold
  
• Watch loaned copy of Shall We Dance?
  
• Sign a new lease because I've been at the apt for a whole year now!
  

Paul tells it like it is. I'm constantly forgetting to look for the good in myself. I launch massive self-improvement programs, dissatisfied with this person that, despite my loathing, people seem to love quite a lot. How do you see your friends? Now imagine how they see you. If only we could all see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us.

Me? Oversexed? Doesn't that imply that I'm getting too much sex? I don't think that's possible. Oh, and: LUBE TRIP! LUBE TRIP!

My co-worker from across the hall took the same bus as I on the way home. "You had a better day than I did," she said, "I heard you giggling over there in your room." She's right. I had an okay day. Work is fun. Don't tell the boss, but I also had a bit of a giggle with some pixelpals too. Got home to find a ton of wonderful stuff in my mail. Apparently USPS is finally catching up. Three movies, a disk from Paul, a mag with tons of good pics of the other Paul, and some Tara stuff from a fan. Motherlode! Right now I'm ordering Chinese food and I'm going to clean house and watch a movie. See? Things get better. It's just Kitty's little roller coaster.

Usually when I'm really down (like I am today, because it's my birthfuckingday), going out with my friends turns things around. I had a bad feeling tonight might be different, but I had high hopes. Dashed, dashed. I ended up feeling horrible, being a complete ass and hurting a dear friend's feelings, and just generally twisting the knife. I was out with five people I love, and I found I really only wanted to be with one of them. No fault of the other four, it was just too much for me. So now I'm even worse. I shouldn't even be writing about it, because drawing attention to it makes it that much more unbearable. But I know I'll want to look back on this next year, so here it is. I think I'm going to erase my birthday. It's never been a great time for me, so why bother.