When The Mothman Prophecies comes out on DVD, I'll be sure to at least rent it. No, I didn't like it. I'm hoping for a director's commentary so I can learn what the hell Mark Pennington was trying to do.

Massively incohesive--nay--downright sloppy, Mothman is a wasted concept with a good soundtrack. It's like Pennington learned a mess of cool tricks in film school and decided to try them all at once. The result is a choppy experiment in segues. Scenes were treated like segments of Seinfeld, with shots of whatever and music in between. Lots and lots and tons of unecessary footage. None of it long, but very little of it compelling. Bad editor; no donut.

Frustrating for the viewer, the movie gets so close to being good. It attempts and fails to be a love story. Attempts and fails to be edgy. Attempts and fails to be creepy. Remember Red Leader in Star Wars? He goes in to make the shot just before Luke, and says: "Almost there...almost there..." and then gets blown up. Pennington is almost there.

All that said, the movie has its good bits--they are vignettes drowning in the general mayhem. This is why I will watch for the next Pennington film. After all, he did Arlington Road, for which I have a soft spot. He's hashed out a lot of different ideas in Mothman, and they should be ripe for his next attempt. I just hope he doesn't use more than ten or twenty of them.

This may well be the most embarrassing entry I've ever made. I hope you're quick, because I might take it back. You see, it's like this:

Jane is starting a new project, and is asking people to dig out their old yearbooks. I gleefully complied (look for my entries later), and in the process of searching for those dusty tomes I found...tapes. Many I can't play because they were created on a four-track mini studio. Most of them contain the most awful songs imaginable. Yes, my songs. There's a reason I quit music, and it's a damned good one: I can't write. Oh, my hooks are fine and my melodies catchy, but eek, what ghastly lyrics. Well, enough ado.

Here's a 2.2Mb mp3 for your listening displeasure. Remember it was taken from a decades-old tape, so the quality is nasty. Sorry, tapes suck. Not that it matters. I admit I like the background vocals (I was so enamoured of singing harmony with myself!), the drum programming, and the baseline. There are good bits, but they're immediately followed by a brisk chaser of mediocre. Ah well.

Let the mocking begin.

Happy happy happy to Judith and Succa.

SMOOCH!

Why would I write about a movie made in 1975? Because dollars to donuts, a lot of folks haven't seen it. Great movies deserve to be discovered, current or not.

Three Days of the Condor is a bit quieter than most spy thrillers. Not much explodes, though a few people do get shot real good-like. Robert Redford plays our bookworm hero--the ultimate geek who defeats the bad guys because he reads everything. He's cool--almost to cool--as he cogitates his way through a maze of counter-plots and untrustworthy characters. In the end, the villains' motivations may strike you as very...familiar.

Understated performances all around; Faye Dunaway and Max von Sydow are particularly charismatic. The engrossing storyline is fast and clear, but never dull. This is a great stay-home-with-popcorn movie, a real treat. Jot it down for the next time you're in the video store.

Spitting. Gah. Spitting on the sidewalk is easily the most disgusting habit to overtake my fair city during the last decade. It's impossible to go barefoot anywhere, unless you like that slimy feeling. A friend once said to me: "Sometimes, you just have to spit." That's true. I'm astonished and heartened that people who must be fed intravenously are well enough to jog down the waterfront. I admit you might have to spit if you have a respiratory infection. You better damned well keep that to yourself. Seriously, if you're going to share your fluids with me, at least take me to dinner first.

But wait, it gets worse.

Just over the past week, I have observed people taking logger's shots. Nothing says "fuckwit" like blowing out a nostril on the street.

This type of idiocy is why there are stupid, micro-managing laws. I find it incomprehensible that people lack the courtesy to keep their sputum to themselves. So here's my note to spitters (and I'm sure there are friends among them): You look like a grammar-school dropout with a misplaced sense of rebellion. Don't force someone to make a city ordinance about something that should be common sense. Grow up and swallow.

Okay, everything should work. And it should be all pretty. I even bothered to make the essays consistent with the rest of the site.

The redesign is the result of a couple of things. I had to buy a new monitor, so I couldn't afford to upgrade Paul and get MT going for him. Hungry for something to do, I started hammering away here. Also, I was tired of the hard-to-read goth thing. Also...well, that's for the next paragraph:

I'd like to thank:

• Dave because I started with one of his stylesheets, and learning from it made this site much better.
  
• Judith who recommended some excellent color changes.
  
• Rod who is now my Typography God.
  
• Salt who nudged me to make some layout changes.
  

Addendum: something is wonky with recent archives. I'll work on it tomorrow.

"I know all of the lyrics to the R.E.M. song 'It's the end of the world as we know it,' and I can say them in a funny pseudo-german accent."

"I can smooch better than anyone, I can make a mean Kraft Dinner, and I'm never afraid to [CENSORED]."

These guys want to be my valentine pretty badly. Think you can compete? The deadline of February 7 is looming. Get thee to the form and tell me why you love me and deserve to be showered with gifts on Valentine's Day.

And to answer an oft-asked question: no, I will never, never, never share your personal information with anyone but the post office. An edited version (as above) of your undying affection may be linked, but that's it. You're safe.

I don't often go ga-ga over flash movies, but this one is super-duper. I made the right choice the first time. Will you?

Via Jonah. Go stuff the ballot box in favor of a comment system.

I'm a little chagrined to say that someone else had to point out the nomination of the Blogathon for Best Meme at the 2002 Bloggies. I'm honored. Wowza.

Like libraries? The excellent Library News Daily is for you. All about libraries from travelling exhibits to--what's that--a ghost story? Library News gets an A+ for being thorough and useful.

I've been BlogSnob surfing again.

I found this beatiful flash toy through Lara.

I've seen this dollmaker everywhere, but just tonight I went and played with it. And played with it, and played with it.

1. New mix! Heike serves up the European power pop for mix number 17. Four languages, no waiting.

   (I actually have another mix waiting to go up--but I'm holding it for a week! I'm mad with POWAH!)

2. You can get it!
   Remember how I said I'd change things once the catalog was beefed up? We've got the beef, so I've changed the rules. You can get any disk in the catalog by sending me a blank. See the catalog for details.

3. You get more for your mix!
   If you submit a mix, you'll get TWO choices from the catalog. If you leave it up to me, the default is Greenshoes plus something I pick at random.

4. But I already did a mix! That's not fair!
   Sure it is. Just write me and tell me what you want for your retro-active bonus disk. It will come winging your way.

I declare it: good.

The ship is not only a rust bucket, it's a haunted rust bucket. The crew is an interesting mix of characters that I'm sure they'll focus on bit by bit. The acting is adequate, and there is a nice chemistry in the central friendship between the human captain and the minbari first officer.

Also, duct tape is used.

There are some weak spots, but with a television series it's important to withhold judgement until several episodes have aired. If the premiere is watchable, I'll usually stick around for the whole season to see how things develop. Rangers has legs--I'll stay with it for a while.

See that little BlogSnob ad over there on the right? Know what it's great for? Surfing. Good old-fashioned web surfing. You can go from ad to ad to ad, never running into the website for some damned insurance company. You will find gems, such as:

The Spinster Manifesto from Half Mad Spinster: "I don't think that I have a fatal flaw or some horrible craziness that has prevented me from getting married. (Guys I've dated: Please do not write in stating otherwise.) On the other hand, I wonder if the older, unmarried guys I sometimes date now DO."

I can't begin to tell you how excited I am. Sure, I was excited about Enterprise, and it turned out to be a damned good show. But here's the thing: Babylon 5 was, without peer, the best sf ever done on television. I'm sure there are those who disagree with me. They are wrong.

I suppose I'm expecting too much from tonight. I hope not.

PS: Looky what I found! Actually, this is a friends site--a whole lotta interviews and chat transcripts from the B5 universe. Delish.

What a smashing idea. I hope it finds foothold.

Oh, and some of us know exactly who Gary Cole is.

I'm very, very busy. To amuse you in my absence:

In my dreams, she's alive. We're moving back into the apartment where I spent my teenage years. Sometimes, even the dog is there. If I'm lucid enough to realize the dream is impossible, the dream finds a way. She got better. She came back--don't they all come back eventually?

Most of the time, it's just normal. I'm me, she's her, and we're happily setting up furniture, working around our schedules, remarking on how little the neighborhood has changed.

I awake sad, raked-over. Sometimes I wish she would stay dead. Other times, I'm glad to have her for a little while, as I sleep.

Well, funding fell through for SXSW (darned Congress!), but I'm thinking this may be a fun substitute. If I go, will you go?

Did you know Phonezilla is three years old this month? That's about 40 in blog years. He's not only stuck around, he's kept up and stayed interesting. For the celebration, he's put up a brief history of the site with bits on all the previous incarnations. As the month progresses, there will be love from his friends, starting with one you may recognize.

Trubie doobie-doo has a delightful new design, which includes Eighty! I very much dig the new digs.

Finally, and least importantly, I want the world to know that frytopia is the third hit for a google search on eating glue.

Justorb has a lovely new toy. Go say hello!

Did I rent Desperate Measures just to see a buffed-out Michael Keaton shirtless? Well yes, as a matter of fact I did.

Turns out that for its genre, it wasn't a bad movie at all. Keaton gives a stand-out performance as a very, very bad man that you nonetheless root for. Andy Garcia is, well, Andy Garcia, but his character has some nice conflicts. It was a lot of fun watching the uber-smart McCabe outwit them all, and the uber-determined Connor become more like McCabe as time went on.

And, of course, there's this:

This is the way to make art on the web. My favorite part: Led Pants for Kids. I can't think of anything more creative to say than: wow.

Via Blort

There's a new crush on the block: Patrick Stewart.

Unbelievably, this is the first Star Trek crush I've posted--unless you count Tony Todd. So here's to the man that made bald sexy forever.

Have you been to Desktopimage lately? They are now on version 3.0, with more designers and more amazing wallpapers. This place is candy.

There's another button on the menu! This one is very special, and will only be there for a few weeks.

Wanna be my valentine? Sure you do. After all, there's FREE STUFF involved! So get yourself over to the entry page and tell me why I should send you a special Valentine's Day gift.

A co-worker stopped me in the hall today to tell me she'd had a dream about me. In the dream, I had decided to leave. She was, as she described it, beside herself, and trying to convince me to stay--asking if I couldn't just take a sabbatical or something, anything so I wouldn't leave.

It's nice to be needed.

As promised, I've concocted a set of instructions for installing Eighty, the happy little fortune-telling ball you see at the top of my menu. There are instructions for people who can upload to their accounts as well as folks who can only edit their template.

This is the first time I've built and shared a toy, so I have my fingers crossed! Let me know if you have a problem installing. I'll probably say I don't know what to do, but that shouldn't stop you from asking.

NOTE TO BLOGGER USERS: As far as I know, Blogger still munches on Javascript. You can still use Eighty, the trick (as with all template systems!) is to keep your template in text form, edit it locally, then paste the whole thing into Blogger each time you need to make a change.

Enjoy!

I remember the first time I apologized.

I was almost five years old, living in Yakima, Washington. Linda was a sweet blonde girl who lived across the street. I spent a lot of time playing at her house. Eric was my "little boyfriend," and together we were trouble on training wheels. One fine summer day Linda and some of her friends had made neat little mud pies (remember those?) and set them out to dry on the curb in front of her house. Eric and I, for reasons I cannot remember, decided those mud pies looked too good to live. While Linda was off in the back yard, we destroyed her careful work.

It was a terrible thing to do, but I was an arrogant little girl and didn't understand the whole "sorry" thing. It took more than a day, but finally my mother managed to force me to walk over to that house across the street, ring the bell, and mumble to Linda that I was sorry about ruining her mud pies. I was crying. All at once I understood what it was to be ashamed. I had done something wrong, and for that, I had learned the important lesson of how to say sorry.

Surprisingly, I did it right the first time. For the record, here's how you say you're sorry:

1. Say: "I'm sorry for ___________."
2. Be specific about your transgression. Saying you're sorry for "whatever you did" doesn't work.
3. Do not use the word "but" or make any reference to what the other person did. This is about you being sorry, not about blaming someone else for being hurt.
4. Keep it simple. See #1.

Yes, that's a new toy you see above the menu. Concentrate and click! I'm having a little trouble making a page where you can copy the javascript and it actually works after it's pasted in, but once I have that down I will share my new toy with everyone.

One of the sweetest projects I've ever seen on the web. Will you send a birthday card to grams?

For the record: I am a feminist. The only caveat I might make is that I'm more of a humanist, because I get ticked when either gender is maligned. But that's not what this spew is about. I just wanted this here as a disclaimer.

In the spirit of being honest with myself, I'm going to make a stunning admission: I have a fantasy about being a homemaker. Several years ago I had what I call my "Martha year" and planted a garden and did all sorts of homey things. I malign it publicly, but the truth is: it was fun. I just didn't have the energy for all of that when holding down a full-time job and doing a dozen web projects. I had to trim my priorities, and out went Suzy Homemaker.

Still, the fantasy persists. Becoming independently wealthy or even marrying into a big, ancient house that needs someone. I love taking care of things. I don't do it enough, but I actually enjoy cleaning house and making things nice. There just isn't time.

So there--my secret is out. I'm a closet housewife. I am not ashamed.

My project for today was to take a self-portrait for 2002 where I: a) Am not wearing a tee-shirt; b) look like a girl; c) am not making a silly face. The first wasn't too bad, the second was irritating, and the third was harder than I thought. This is the one with which I am happiest:

I do not have a valentine this year. Rather than stew over it, I have decided to take action. This year, I shall have a Random Valentine. I will send this Random Valentine a small gift and a love letter.

This is where you come in.

Would you like to be my Random Valentine? If you would, just email me your mailing address, clothing size (you never know what gift I might find!), and the reason I should choose YOU to be my valentine this year.

Both girls and boys are welcome. Good luck to each of the hundreds of entrants I am expecting.

Ok, here goes. In parens are things that stood out for me, though when watching a film I take many things into account. These are certainly not the only things I liked about the movie, or it wouldn't be on my list.

This is preliminary, as there are four or five films I haven't seen that I think may change the list:

10. Mulholland Drive (cinematography, writing)
9. Final Fantasy (technical innovation)
8. Ocean's Eleven (sheer fun)
7. A.I. (direction, cinematography)
6. The Others (editing, acting, direction)
5. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (direction, acting, cinematography)
4. Moulin Rouge! (cojones, cinematography, direction)
3. Memento (acting, writing, direction)
2. Donnie Darko (originality, direction)
1. Amelie (everything, but especially cinematography and editing)

These are the worst movies I made the mistake of seeing this year.

10. Swordfish
9. Ghosts of Mars (but it was supposed to be bad, so this is a good thing)
8. Hearts in Atlantis (Stephen King, boring? That's just wrong.)
7. Rat Race (Why did I see this when I know I don't like the Zuckers?)
6. Jurassic Park III
5. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (Very disappointing for a Smith film)
4. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
3. Tailor of Panama
2. K-PAX
1. Planet of the Apes

Chunshek.com calls the Blogathon the Best Weblogging Event of 2001.

Wow. Thanks!

In 2002, I resolve to never again say:

"It's not that dirty."
"Where did I put my cat?"
"Nah, I don't mind the sheep."
"Your Feng Shui is whack."
"Details, please."
"Yes, but it will cost you an extra $20."